[He's got to admit, John is asking all the right questions. It's thrilling, and he frantically wipes away his text to start anew. A face to face conversation would be so much more stimulating, but this is exciting in it's own right.
No.
[He agrees emphatically.]
This is where unique individualization takes it's toll. It's a fascinating thing to study- much of the reason I've been so invested in psychology. Only so many traits in a person can be reversed before the opposite ceases to be a human, an individual, and begins to be a... cartoon character, if you will. Some traits are inherent to all people, and are necessary to exist for things like logical reasoning and cohesive brain function.
Say a person has 5 distinctive "A" traits and 10 underlying "B" traits that make up their personality. People are contradictory by nature, and it is almost a guarantee that 1-3 of those "B" traits will directly contradict an "A" trait.
Now assume you reverse all of those traits. What this means is they're still going to contain that "A" trait in its smaller but still existent underlying "B" trait, or vice versa. What's interesting is determining what personality traits are distinctive to the individual, what traits are caused by one's direct surroundings, what are inherent in all humans, and- moreover- the personality traits that seem to occur by "random" chance. Given that all mirrors are designed, weaved into existence by her majesty the Queen, where do these "random" INDIVIDUAL personality traits come from? Does it make a mirror as real as a "Real", or just attest to how great an immitation her majesty is capable of creating?
I wonder much of this on a daily basis, and I'm afraid I have no concrete answers.
That's certainly a lot more than I've considered on the matter.
[And, all things considered, John's thought on it a lot since running into Dean's Mirror the first time.
It makes sense they're not exact reflections, but why bother with the "mirror" aspect, in that case? Why not call them... clones? Or alternate versions? Is the mirror aspect just because they're stuck in this literary setting? Or do they have to exhibit a certain set of different characteristics?
More questions are raised than answers.]
I see a lot of Dean in you. Or you in Dean. It wasn't like that before, but in retrospect, I didn't know him nearly as well back then.
Is there any commonality between the Mirrors aside from the obvious? A certain personality trait or a particular loyalty none of you can ignore?
That one is a harder question to answer. That would require knowing both the Real and Mirror versions of each person implicitly, and I hardly know MYSELF. I can only speak for me when I say that I feel no immense loyalty to the people Dean considers important- the real version or the mirror version. In fact, I'm disturbed by the prospect that I should. Forming connections solely because my real has them is not a good foundation for a healthy relationship, and I refuse to cheapen any connections I may aquire by acting as a piece rather than as a whole.
[And if he sounds a bit prissy about the whole thing, well, he is. He has quite a few opinions on the matter.
As far as seeing pieces of Dean in him go... well, he doesn't see that. He does, however, wish that he could be more like the man. He admires his real a great deal.]
You're asking some very speculative questions, John. Is there a reason behind it?
I, too, continue to look for the reason behind it all. So far, what I've found doesn't inspire much confidence.
[In other words, if you're looking for morale, you'd better steer your eyes towards his real.
There's a slight pause in his next reply though, and it seems almost hesitant.]
What, exactly, do you mean when you say 'start'. What are we starting? And, for the record, I would much rather not discuss your mirror. The man... he terrifies me, I've observed him from a distance and I think perhaps thinking about him too loudly might somehow summon him.
[Blake can appreciate some amount of skepticism and even a little pessimism, but that last little bit he just doesn't quite get. Summon him? Come on, man, Blake thought he was more rational than that. Message received, though. Loud and clear.]
I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I need a contact on that side. Someone who can get us some answers when we need them. If you're not comfortable with that, I understand, but I could really use a hand. Or a lead on someone who can help.
[So maybe he forgets that this isn't the Dean on his side of the Mirror, who would probably already be formulating a plan of his own, if not one similar to Blake's. It's not exactly asking for nothing, either.]
[He is a perfectly rational man, but his grim humor wasn't entirely in jest. Johnny is a scary, scary individual. Probably the scariest one he's ever seen, and that's entirely from distant observation.
His next response is hesitant and uncertain.]
A... contact. I'm not sure I can fulfill that role, John, and I don't mean to... dissapoint you, it's just that defying my queen... it could mean my death, it could mean a traitor mark, it could mean... being UNWRITTEN and I simply
I simply can't
The idea
No, I don't think I should be... engaging with you, certainly not on this subject, I'm sorry, that's treason, no, I... am no traitor.
[Dammit. And there's the difference, right? Because the Real fights and fights, and the Mirror just doesn't seem that interested.
John sighs, mostly to himself, but it's easy to forget the Mirrors see through to the other side where he doesn't. Nevertheless, he schools his expression quickly enough and quickly scratches out a reply.]
It's fine. I understand. [He doesn't. Not really.] So, books are safe? You're not going to be unwritten if we keep passing books between sides, are you?
[It isn't that he isn't interested so much as it is he's terrified. He doesn't want to die, he doesn't want to be unmade, he doesn't want to see the queen, let alone face her wrath.
Watching his face, though, is an exercise in pain. The disappointment, the sigh, it's all there and impossible to ignore, and he puts his head in his hands for a long minute.
As such, his response is delayed a little longer than it had been.
A strong man would walk away. Dean is not a strong man, and he really likes books. Like, he really likes them. He falters.]
No... No, I don't think so. That should be fine.
[He should explain himself. He should be brave and apologize really. Offer to help in some other way.
[Blake's going to have a hard time getting it. He's beholden to no one and nothing (save for those people and things he chooses to be beholden to), and while he understands death is a scary thing, one of the things he's been forced to accept is its inevitability. It's only recently, in Wonderland, where it's come back into question.
That's neither here nor there, of course, because Blake isn't interested in convincing Dean to do anything he doesn't want to do. At least... for the time being.]
Just leave your requests on the mirror and a time you'll be by again and I'll make it work.
[Is he decidedly less friendly? Maybe. But not on purpose. He's honestly very intrigued by Mirror Dean, even if it's probably for all the wrong reasons, but damn if he wasn't hoping for a contact on the inside.]
[He can see the change, perceptive as he is, and it has him waffling. Has him debating, second guessing, retracting. He would love to be as strong as his real. He would love to be as brave, as friendly, as capable. He'd love to have friendships as strong and a personality as charming.
But he doesn't, and so finally he nods softly.]
Thank you.
And if you have any... other questions, questions about mirrors in general or... perhaps window repair, I am more than happy to answer them.
[It's just a setback, not full-on disappointment. Honestly, Blake would think twice about helping, too, especially if he was a construct of some other, more malevolent person. But he's not, so he doesn't think that way.
And, honestly, he'll warm back up pretty quickly once the chit-chat starts happening, especially since books are involved. But he's let his hopes get pretty high, and that's entirely his fault for not managing his own expectations.]
Got it. Thanks.
[He'll probably have to work back up to asking for help.]
When you're finished with the book, let me know what you think.
[Dean sees it only as disappointment, a failure he perpetuated, a reminder of his inability to connect. It disheartens him, and he doesn't foresee any future in his tentative friendship with this man now that he's ruined everything.
He is, by and large, a bit of a drama queen sometimes.]
I will.
[He agrees politely, as one does when in this situation, and, after a beat, adds on a polite ending sentiment.]
[Dang, if only it were that easy to see through the other side. Blake's got an... inkling that something's changed, but it's hard. Interacting with people is hard, and there's no benefit gained from not being able to see each other.]
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No.
[He agrees emphatically.]
This is where unique individualization takes it's toll. It's a fascinating thing to study- much of the reason I've been so invested in psychology. Only so many traits in a person can be reversed before the opposite ceases to be a human, an individual, and begins to be a... cartoon character, if you will. Some traits are inherent to all people, and are necessary to exist for things like logical reasoning and cohesive brain function.
Say a person has 5 distinctive "A" traits and 10 underlying "B" traits that make up their personality. People are contradictory by nature, and it is almost a guarantee that 1-3 of those "B" traits will directly contradict an "A" trait.
Now assume you reverse all of those traits. What this means is they're still going to contain that "A" trait in its smaller but still existent underlying "B" trait, or vice versa. What's interesting is determining what personality traits are distinctive to the individual, what traits are caused by one's direct surroundings, what are inherent in all humans, and- moreover- the personality traits that seem to occur by "random" chance. Given that all mirrors are designed, weaved into existence by her majesty the Queen, where do these "random" INDIVIDUAL personality traits come from? Does it make a mirror as real as a "Real", or just attest to how great an immitation her majesty is capable of creating?
I wonder much of this on a daily basis, and I'm afraid I have no concrete answers.
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[And, all things considered, John's thought on it a lot since running into Dean's Mirror the first time.
It makes sense they're not exact reflections, but why bother with the "mirror" aspect, in that case? Why not call them... clones? Or alternate versions? Is the mirror aspect just because they're stuck in this literary setting? Or do they have to exhibit a certain set of different characteristics?
More questions are raised than answers.]
I see a lot of Dean in you. Or you in Dean. It wasn't like that before, but in retrospect, I didn't know him nearly as well back then.
Is there any commonality between the Mirrors aside from the obvious? A certain personality trait or a particular loyalty none of you can ignore?
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[And if he sounds a bit prissy about the whole thing, well, he is. He has quite a few opinions on the matter.
As far as seeing pieces of Dean in him go... well, he doesn't see that. He does, however, wish that he could be more like the man. He admires his real a great deal.]
You're asking some very speculative questions, John. Is there a reason behind it?
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I'm just looking for some reason behind all of this madness.
[Wouldn't that be nice? Having some kind of answers after all this time would go a long way for morale on the Real side, that's for sure.]
I know a few on your side, and a few on my side, but I only have easy access to you and your Real. Maybe we can start there?
[Come on, you know you want to work together on this.]
Unless you'd rather start with Johnny...
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[In other words, if you're looking for morale, you'd better steer your eyes towards his real.
There's a slight pause in his next reply though, and it seems almost hesitant.]
What, exactly, do you mean when you say 'start'. What are we starting? And, for the record, I would much rather not discuss your mirror. The man... he terrifies me, I've observed him from a distance and I think perhaps thinking about him too loudly might somehow summon him.
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I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I need a contact on that side. Someone who can get us some answers when we need them. If you're not comfortable with that, I understand, but I could really use a hand. Or a lead on someone who can help.
[So maybe he forgets that this isn't the Dean on his side of the Mirror, who would probably already be formulating a plan of his own, if not one similar to Blake's. It's not exactly asking for nothing, either.]
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His next response is hesitant and uncertain.]
A... contact. I'm not sure I can fulfill that role, John, and I don't mean to... dissapoint you, it's just that defying my queen... it could mean my death, it could mean a traitor mark, it could mean... being UNWRITTEN and I simply
I simply can't
The idea
No, I don't think I should be... engaging with you, certainly not on this subject, I'm sorry, that's treason, no, I... am no traitor.
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John sighs, mostly to himself, but it's easy to forget the Mirrors see through to the other side where he doesn't. Nevertheless, he schools his expression quickly enough and quickly scratches out a reply.]
It's fine. I understand. [He doesn't. Not really.] So, books are safe? You're not going to be unwritten if we keep passing books between sides, are you?
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Watching his face, though, is an exercise in pain. The disappointment, the sigh, it's all there and impossible to ignore, and he puts his head in his hands for a long minute.
As such, his response is delayed a little longer than it had been.
A strong man would walk away. Dean is not a strong man, and he really likes books. Like, he really likes them. He falters.]
No... No, I don't think so. That should be fine.
[He should explain himself. He should be brave and apologize really. Offer to help in some other way.
...But he won't.]
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That's neither here nor there, of course, because Blake isn't interested in convincing Dean to do anything he doesn't want to do. At least... for the time being.]
Just leave your requests on the mirror and a time you'll be by again and I'll make it work.
[Is he decidedly less friendly? Maybe. But not on purpose. He's honestly very intrigued by Mirror Dean, even if it's probably for all the wrong reasons, but damn if he wasn't hoping for a contact on the inside.]
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But he doesn't, and so finally he nods softly.]
Thank you.
And if you have any... other questions, questions about mirrors in general or... perhaps window repair, I am more than happy to answer them.
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And, honestly, he'll warm back up pretty quickly once the chit-chat starts happening, especially since books are involved. But he's let his hopes get pretty high, and that's entirely his fault for not managing his own expectations.]
Got it. Thanks.
[He'll probably have to work back up to asking for help.]
When you're finished with the book, let me know what you think.
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He is, by and large, a bit of a drama queen sometimes.]
I will.
[He agrees politely, as one does when in this situation, and, after a beat, adds on a polite ending sentiment.]
Do sleep well when you manage it, John.
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You also, Dean. Thanks for writing.
[They'll have to do this again some time soon.]
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