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[oversight]

 

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[righteously]

Jo's mom is here

[oversight]

Is that some kind of fair warning? Are you being hunted?

[That might be a half-serious question.]

[righteously]

I feel like there should be some kind of storm tracker warning for her, so half yes to that first one.

she's gonna smell something's up with us, she's like a freaking bloodhound dude. I can't tell her what happened, jo will kill me

but that woman slaps like death

[oversight]

Sounds like you might have to head her off at the pass and come clean?

[righteously]

Uh

No

Are you kidding me

You don't just rat like that to someone's mom man that's like bro code 101

[Not that either of them had that problem personally, but he's seen enough daytime television and high school drama to know.]

I'm not gonna sell her out like that. We've got enough problems to deal with.

[oversight]

[Relevant.]

I'm not saying you tell her everything. I'm saying you tell her something happened, you say you handled is as delicately as the situation would allow, and you express the fact that you respect her, hence telling the truth and not just letting her find out.

[Do you see Mr. Wayne's influence here?]

[righteously]

...Oh Blake. Buddy. People like you are the reason we need storm tracker alerts.

You've never met Ellen have you.

You should reread some of that book some time but when you read her parts read it angrier and holding a knife

That woman is great but she ain't to be swayed like that, buddy.

This woman smells bullshit and attacks it like it's fanged and trying to eat her

hahahahahaha

[oversight]

You're a killing machine and like 35, are you fucking kidding me with this shit?

You find the right tool and you use it.

How bad can she be? Do you want ME to tell her FOR you?

[oversight]

What's her number?

[righteously]

nO BLAKE I AM NOT KIDDING YOU JUST NO

Don't even try it man just

Forget I said anything

I don't want you to get hurt but she will eat you alive

[oversight]

I didn't even DO anything, why would she hurt me?

[righteously]

Because you're skinny and nosy and she doesn't need a reason

[oversight]

In that case, I guess all I can do is wish you luck. Do you need me to do preemptive last rights or something?

[righteously]

Do I get a last meal too or

[oversight]

Whatever you want, champ. Burgers? Fries? Waffles?

[righteously]

I feel like you want me to say waffles but I'm not picking waffles

what else do you have up your sleeve emeril

[oversight]

Chicken Marsala or Risotto Primavera.

[righteously]

I have no idea what either of those things are but I know what chicken is so I'm gonna go with that.

Can you actually cook that crap or are you yanking my chain

[oversight]

[Oh, Dean, come on, do you not know your best friend by now?]

Yeah, of course I can. Is that really what you want? Do you even like mushrooms?

[He may or may not already been in the kitchen thinking about this.]

[righteously]

[Okay, okay, fair enough. Doesn't hurt to check on whether or not he's being a smartass sometimes.]

Mushrooms are the meat of the vegetable world, what's not to like

Did I ever tell you about the time I did mushrooms

Everything was dogs, Blake. Everything.

[oversight]

I'm judging you so much right now.

(It was flowers for me.)

[righteously]

Wow you're such a girl

[oversight]

You don't even like dogs!

[righteously]

And apparently you actually really like flowers so I repeat

girl

[oversight]

I hate you. Why am I cooking for you again?